Kesha Opens Up About Health Struggles, Legal Battles & More: ‘I Almost Died In January’

In the wake of her new album ‘Gag Order’, the singer opens up about her mental health and new outlook on life, as well as her ongoing legal battle

<p>Jason Kim</p>
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Kesha’s legal battles took place in a public forum, but behind the scenes, the singer has also been waging a battle with her health.

And for the June cover of Himself, the Los Angeles native is dealing with these struggles and how she managed to overcome them.

It started, the 36-year-old says, with a kinder view.

“If I’m just kinder to myself, everything feels so much more manageable. When I first came out, I had this bravado,” she says HIMSELF. “But I’m only human. After getting so many comments about what was wrong with me, I started taking the meanest comment as the truth and my higher power. I started internalizing it. I had to start talking to myself as someone who loves Me.”

<p>Jason Kim</p>
<p> Kesha on the cover of SELF” src=”–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTcwNTtoPTg4MQ–/”/><noscript><img alt=Jason Kim

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Jason Kim

Kesha on the cover of SELF

But it can be challenging, especially in light of her ongoing brutal legal battle with former associate Lukasz “Dr. Luke” Gottwald, whom she first sued in 2014 for sexual, emotional and physical abuse. He filed a lawsuit the same year.

In 2016, Kesha’s claims were dismissed by a judge who effectively gave her former producer a cut of profits from her new album too, gag order. It’s contractually his latest album on Dr. Luke’s Kemosabe label, and is largely written about his struggles in recent years.

And Kesha (full name: Kesha Rose Sebert) admits the title is a nod to her legal troubles. I had to shed some light on the darker sides of what’s going on in my mind. I was saying, “Yeah, I’ve had this implied, self-imposed gag order for as long as I can remember, because I’m still in the suit.”

The case is expected to go to trial in July.

Related: Doja Cat Says She Probably Won’t Work With Dr. Luke Again: ‘I Don’t Think I Need To’

The singers have also been dealing with health issues: Although she opened up in 2022 about her disordered eating, bulimia in particular, the singer also learned that she has CVID (common variable immunodeficiency), an immune disorder that results in low levels of protein needed to fight infection, according to the Mayo Clinic. It can lead to an increase in respiratory and digestive infections, among other conditions.

When you’re lucky enough to have a song catch on, you’re just trying to keep up. I had a really hard time saying no to interviews or photo shoots as I didn’t want my only chance to vanish by not being able to accommodate every request. It led to severe physical and mental breakdown, says the singer.

Though she declines to go into detail, Kesha does say so HIMSELF that after a New Year’s Eve show in the Bahamas left her too weak to walk, she ended up in hospital.

I almost died in January, she says HIMSELF. He said his illness was caused, in part, by his CVID causing a reaction to his earlier decision to freeze his eggs.

I finally feel healed, but it took a couple of months, she says. It was horrible.

Photo by Jim Dyson / Getty Images Ke$ha

Photo by Jim Dyson / Getty Images Ke$ha

Now that she’s back and promoting gag orderthe girl who famously sang that shell brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack Daniels in her huge 2009 Tik Tok hit is taking things a lot slower.

I have a support system in place [of therapists] whom I talk to weekly or monthly, she says. [After] not allowing myself to eat or enjoy food for so long in my life, i really turned the corner and now i love food. I started cooking; I go to the farmers market.

Related: Kelly Clarkson Says She Lost ‘Millions’ Because She Refused To Share Written Credit With Dr. Luke

And before he takes the stage, he admits that while people probably think I’m back there filming, and [my routine is] the most zen s– you’ve ever seen.

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Read the original article in People.

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